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Entry tags:
Story: First Draft
Title: A Symbol of His Love
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ayumi99
Fandom: FFVII
Pairing: Tseng/Elena
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: It was hot out today. That’s my excuse. Oh yea, and forcupcakemonster. Because she asked so nicely ^^
It had been years now, since they had first gotten together, and while there still was no ring on her finger, she knew that he loved her. In hindsight, it was actually a good thing, since such objects of affection could not be afforded in their line of work. They were Turks after all.
During the day she could deal with this. With a day filled with paperwork and the occasional mission, her mind was filled with other things. Unfortunately now, after everything that had happened in recent years, the missions were becoming less and less frequent. No longer did she have to worry about thinks such as ‘I’m running out of non-blood stained shirts’ or ‘My dry cleaner is getting suspicious’. All she had to worry about now was if her pen ran dry, or if office gossip was getting too ridiculous, or Shiva forbid, they ran out of coffee.
Night was different. Night was when she was too wired to sleep, his body sprawled like dead weight next to her. Night was when she listened to the sounds of his breathing and thought of the wedding she would never have. When sleep took her, all she could dream about was the dark haired babies she would never have, the mako having robbed her of that chance.
But still, sometimes she just happened to forget to take her pills for a month. And sometimes, just sometimes, she might corner him working late at night and convince him that putting the papers to the side might be a good thing, and really, they didn’t need protection. They were Turks after all.
And finally something worked, what exactly she wasn’t sure, but miracles of miracles, it worked. She was pregnant with his child, and while he had always loved her this was proof that he really did. This was something more than rings, more than weddings, more than words.
When she told him the news, his face filled with shock, she had time for one quick thought of I should never have told him, before his face brightened into a smile he rarely had.
That night, after celebrating the good news, she laid beside him in bed, listening to his soft breathing, and thought to herself If I died now, I would be the happiest girl on earth.
When she lost the baby she felt like killing herself.
Even with his lips brushing the tears away, his words telling her it would be all right, his strong arms holding her as she sobbed on the bathroom floor in a pool of blood, she knew she was weak.
He heard her whisper the words and frowned, pulling her closer and holding her gently, his fingers stroking the scars he could have found in his sleep. There was nothing he could do for her that would make her feel better at the moment, but he knew she would survive.
She was a Turk after all.
Author:
ayumi99Fandom: FFVII
Pairing: Tseng/Elena
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: It was hot out today. That’s my excuse. Oh yea, and for
cupcakemonster. Because she asked so nicely ^^It had been years now, since they had first gotten together, and while there still was no ring on her finger, she knew that he loved her. In hindsight, it was actually a good thing, since such objects of affection could not be afforded in their line of work. They were Turks after all.
During the day she could deal with this. With a day filled with paperwork and the occasional mission, her mind was filled with other things. Unfortunately now, after everything that had happened in recent years, the missions were becoming less and less frequent. No longer did she have to worry about thinks such as ‘I’m running out of non-blood stained shirts’ or ‘My dry cleaner is getting suspicious’. All she had to worry about now was if her pen ran dry, or if office gossip was getting too ridiculous, or Shiva forbid, they ran out of coffee.
Night was different. Night was when she was too wired to sleep, his body sprawled like dead weight next to her. Night was when she listened to the sounds of his breathing and thought of the wedding she would never have. When sleep took her, all she could dream about was the dark haired babies she would never have, the mako having robbed her of that chance.
But still, sometimes she just happened to forget to take her pills for a month. And sometimes, just sometimes, she might corner him working late at night and convince him that putting the papers to the side might be a good thing, and really, they didn’t need protection. They were Turks after all.
And finally something worked, what exactly she wasn’t sure, but miracles of miracles, it worked. She was pregnant with his child, and while he had always loved her this was proof that he really did. This was something more than rings, more than weddings, more than words.
When she told him the news, his face filled with shock, she had time for one quick thought of I should never have told him, before his face brightened into a smile he rarely had.
That night, after celebrating the good news, she laid beside him in bed, listening to his soft breathing, and thought to herself If I died now, I would be the happiest girl on earth.
When she lost the baby she felt like killing herself.
Even with his lips brushing the tears away, his words telling her it would be all right, his strong arms holding her as she sobbed on the bathroom floor in a pool of blood, she knew she was weak.
He heard her whisper the words and frowned, pulling her closer and holding her gently, his fingers stroking the scars he could have found in his sleep. There was nothing he could do for her that would make her feel better at the moment, but he knew she would survive.
She was a Turk after all.
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Edit in the second paragraph, worry about thinks should be worry about things. I like how Elena's life has changed over the last few years, hee, it's cute. I also think this is why she's thinking of having a child, now that her life has calmed down. She's still a Turk, but could possibly have one without much danger.
I like the repetition of "night" in the third paragraph. To even further the way it sounds, I'd change the first paragraph to Night was when things were different. to mirror the Night was when pacing you have set up.
In the fourth paragraph I'm not sure if she's "forgetting" or just forgetting. I'd be amused if she was "forgetting". And I'm not sure what you mean by their not having to use protection because they're Turks. Because they don't get sick or something?? Or because he's shooting blanks? Wha? >D I'm looking forward to finding out why.
I love where you discuss how she becomes pregnant. It's so sweet and true, and I can really feel her happiness. I want you to clarify slightly the part that goes "and finally something worked, what exactly she wasn't sure, but miracle of miracles, it worked". Her plans to not take birth control properly worked?? What worked? She may not know how she got pregnant, but I think she did, she just expects not to be.
I think after you note that she says if she'd die now, she'd be the happiest girl on earth, you should change the next sentance When she lost hte baby she felt like killing herself to something like
A few weeks later, she wished she had died.
The next paragraph after is a bit of a run on, I'd like to see you point out at the beginning that she feels like a failure as a mother/weak/whatever point you're trying to make, then after that put in the bit of how he's brushing her tears away and she thinks she's weak.
What words is she whispering? That she wants to kill herself? It wasn't clear to me until a few times around, that she had the marks of someone having tried to cut herself? *confused* Clarify, please, I totally got lost here.
All in all this is a beautiful concept and has great insight into their lives as Turks and as lovers. *glee* Holy fuck, I love it.